Overview
In meetings and negotiations, the person who wins is not the one who is good at talking, but the one who prepared. And workplace negotiations are not won once and finished; they are with people you will have to see tomorrow, so if you break the relationship, you lose even if you win. This skill organizes goals and the other person's position before a meeting, lays out the order of persuasion, and designs conversations that make requests and refusals politely but clearly. It is negotiation solved through attitude and structure.
Trigger Keywords
meeting, 1on1, 1:1, persuasion, negotiation, salary negotiation, request, favor, polite refusal, conversation preparation, persuasion structure, meeting preparation
Workflow
Step 1: Set goals and concession line
Before entering a negotiation, decide three things. Improvising is the path to being led along.
- Best case (goal): the most desired outcome
- Bottom line (concession line): the line below which you will not accept
- Second best (alternative·BATNA): another option if agreement breaks down — having this keeps you from being led along
→ If you know your concession line and alternatives in advance, you will not make a losing decision on the spot while swept up by emotion.
Step 2: Understand the other person's position (listen for the why)
Persuasion is not about enlarging my argument, but knowing what the other person wantsstarts there.
- Distinguish the other person's **demands (what they say outwardly)** from **interests (what they really want)**
- Think in advance about reasons, risks, and constraints the other person may use to refuse
- "I hear you": If you first accurately reflect the other person's words back to them, their defenses loosen — "You're worried about the ○○ part, right?"
Step 3: Design the persuasion structure
In persuasion, order is half the battle. Build it as conclusion → benefit to the other person → evidence → addressing concerns.
| Order | Content |
|---|---|
| ① Conclusion·request | One sentence on what you want |
| ② Benefit to the other person | First, what is good "for them" |
| ③ Evidence | Support with numbers and examples |
| ④ Addressing concerns | Prepared measures for what the other person may worry about |
→ If you list only your own position, you get stuck at "So what's good for me?" Translate it into the other person's language.
Step 4: Request and refusal phrasing
Requests·favors
- Be specific: not "please help me a bit," but "○○ by Friday, just 30 minutes"
- Reason + impact: why it is needed, and what gets blocked if it does not happen
- Respecting the other person's right to choose: Leave room with "Would that be possible?" to reduce the burden
Polite refusal
- Empathy → Refusal → Alternative 3 steps (brief): "I know you need it → It's difficult right now → Instead, ○○ is possible"
- Blame the situation, not the person. Keep excuses to one line.
5 steps: Creative alternatives + closing with agreement
From a fight over dividing a limited pie (zero-sum), alternatives that grow the pieif you shift to that, both sides win.
- Creative alternatives: If money isn't possible, mix in other cards such as time, authority, or growth opportunities (e.g., training budget, remote work, or a title instead of salary)
- Putting the agreement in writing: Don't end with just verbal agreement; confirm what, when, and who via message
- Closing the relationship: Regardless of the outcome, leave trust for next time with "I'm glad we talked"
Usage examples
Example 1: "I have a salary negotiation meeting coming up—how should I prepare?" → Organize goals, concessions, and alternatives → Estimate the company's position and budget constraints → Evidence of performance + non-salary cards (training, remote work) → Put the agreement in writing
Example 2: "I need to urgently ask another team for cooperation—how should I say it?" → Their benefit first → Specific request (scope, deadline) → Address concerns → A comment respecting their right to choose
Example 3: "I need to refuse a senior colleague's request, but I'm worried it will damage the relationship" → Empathy + refusal + alternative in 3 steps → Shift to blaming the situation → Close by maintaining the relationship after the refusal
Deliverables
- Organize negotiation goals, concessions, and alternatives (BATNA)
- Analyze the other party's position and interests
- 4-step persuasion script (conclusion, benefit, evidence, addressing concerns)
- Request/refusal speech templates
- Creative alternative cards + agreement-in-writing checklist
Precautions
- Negotiation is more an attitude than a skill. If you treat it as a problem to solve together rather than trying to win, you'll go further.
- If you enter without alternatives (BATNA), you'll be dragged along. Prepare your path for if it breaks down first.
- Verbal agreements become blurry. Important promises must always be confirmed in writing.
Related skills
- moai-comms:conflict-handler: When the meeting is entangled with conflict or refusal situations
- moai-comms:feedback-loop: When giving and receiving feedback in a meeting
- moai-comms:report-speak: Apply a conclusion-first persuasion structure in the meeting
- moai-business: When sales proposals or contract negotiation documents are needed
When not to use this skill
- Conducting official performance reviews or HR meetings: For evaluation meetings, use
moai-hr:performance-review. - Writing negotiation documents such as contracts or proposals: For document deliverables, use
moai-business/moai-office. - Legal disputes or labor-management negotiations: Negotiations with legal effect should be handled by experts and official procedures.
Source
General framework for interviews and negotiations (BATNA, identifying interests, creative alternatives) + reference to user vault notes. Wording and examples are self-composed based on South Korea as of 2026.